Human relationships are the toughest and best things we ever get to face in our lives. We can't do with and without them. There is a very simple solution that will change this paradigm. It's called "expectation". Love, friendship and relationships of any kind are only ruined or improved by the level of one's expectations.
When your day is ruined by the driver behind you honking like a maniac just because you aren't moving in a RED LIGHT, it's not his fault that he is doing that, it's yours that you are giving him the power to do so. He is someone who is only going to be a part of 30 seconds of your life, you are the one who is giving him the power to worsen 8 hours and stay with you for longer in a negative way. The problem is that those 8 hours include you removing your frustration on other people and further, continuing the chain. Instead, learn to accept that you can't expect anyone, be it a stranger or a friend or a family member, rather ANYONE to behave the way you'd want them to. They aren't puppets whose strings are in your hand and your handbook of decency wasn't passed on to them when they learnt manners. You aren't behaving according to their definition of decorum, either. It's important to know that nobody is entitled to be nice to you or be anything to you and the vice-versa. We all do it out of choice.
We are all selfish because we do what we want always. Then, how can we expect someone to not behave the way we want? Why should someone's reaction or actions bother you? Nobody should have that kind of power over you. Happiness is sort of synonymous with simplicity. Being simple in your outlook and your reactions makes life easier. Leading a happy life is the easiest but, we have a an affinity towards complicated things. It's what we have seen all our lives. You will always want to hold your nose by going over the ear on the opposite side when you can just hold the it directly. It's not your problem if someone wants to eat a certain way or do a certain thing when you want to do the opposite. He/she has their reasons and interests. Group dynamics involve a great deal of understanding of this concept. And, we are part of varied groups in our lives whether in terms of our families, our classrooms, our friends or our work teams. In order to always stay happy and smiling, all we need to do is accept everyone for who and what they are.
Loving someone they say is loving them for who they are, whether it's a blood relation, a friendship or a romantic one. It all sounds rosy but do we really follow through with it? How many times have we heard a parent get upset with their child because they didn't choose the career path that the parent suggested? There are exceptions to this absolutely but, everyone has their reasons for doing and choosing what they want to do, love them for that not, in spite of that. The differences are what keeps us going. If we were all the same, why would we get along? We all have something to learn from each other and a lot to teach, as well. Celebrate your differences and know what is worth getting upset with each other about. Actually, nothing is but, that is difficult for us, for me, highly. I used to feel that there is a way to behave and there is a way to talk to people, etc. But, now I realized that is how I feel and that doesn't make it right universally. We all have to be calm and think before we react or act. It makes everything easier for everyone.
Life is simple, things are going to come your way to test your patience. It can all be solved with a calm and non-expecting paradigm. Stay happy, smiling and calm. Love your people for them and don't try to change them into who you'd like them to be. It's that simple.
When your day is ruined by the driver behind you honking like a maniac just because you aren't moving in a RED LIGHT, it's not his fault that he is doing that, it's yours that you are giving him the power to do so. He is someone who is only going to be a part of 30 seconds of your life, you are the one who is giving him the power to worsen 8 hours and stay with you for longer in a negative way. The problem is that those 8 hours include you removing your frustration on other people and further, continuing the chain. Instead, learn to accept that you can't expect anyone, be it a stranger or a friend or a family member, rather ANYONE to behave the way you'd want them to. They aren't puppets whose strings are in your hand and your handbook of decency wasn't passed on to them when they learnt manners. You aren't behaving according to their definition of decorum, either. It's important to know that nobody is entitled to be nice to you or be anything to you and the vice-versa. We all do it out of choice.
We are all selfish because we do what we want always. Then, how can we expect someone to not behave the way we want? Why should someone's reaction or actions bother you? Nobody should have that kind of power over you. Happiness is sort of synonymous with simplicity. Being simple in your outlook and your reactions makes life easier. Leading a happy life is the easiest but, we have a an affinity towards complicated things. It's what we have seen all our lives. You will always want to hold your nose by going over the ear on the opposite side when you can just hold the it directly. It's not your problem if someone wants to eat a certain way or do a certain thing when you want to do the opposite. He/she has their reasons and interests. Group dynamics involve a great deal of understanding of this concept. And, we are part of varied groups in our lives whether in terms of our families, our classrooms, our friends or our work teams. In order to always stay happy and smiling, all we need to do is accept everyone for who and what they are.
Loving someone they say is loving them for who they are, whether it's a blood relation, a friendship or a romantic one. It all sounds rosy but do we really follow through with it? How many times have we heard a parent get upset with their child because they didn't choose the career path that the parent suggested? There are exceptions to this absolutely but, everyone has their reasons for doing and choosing what they want to do, love them for that not, in spite of that. The differences are what keeps us going. If we were all the same, why would we get along? We all have something to learn from each other and a lot to teach, as well. Celebrate your differences and know what is worth getting upset with each other about. Actually, nothing is but, that is difficult for us, for me, highly. I used to feel that there is a way to behave and there is a way to talk to people, etc. But, now I realized that is how I feel and that doesn't make it right universally. We all have to be calm and think before we react or act. It makes everything easier for everyone.
Life is simple, things are going to come your way to test your patience. It can all be solved with a calm and non-expecting paradigm. Stay happy, smiling and calm. Love your people for them and don't try to change them into who you'd like them to be. It's that simple.
